On the way home, I am totally stoked. For me, I confess, there is a bit of a narcissistic rush from hearing my voice recorded. I feel kind of guilty about it, but it's there and I'm so critical of myself in most areas that I will allow myself to thoroughly revel in the fact that I love the voice God gave me. So anyhow, I'm excited and thinking "Ok, how am I gonna make this work?" The prices quoted were about half of what it would cost at the cheapest of studios in the states, but I am also making half the money that I would in the states. So the project is doable, but not without serious planning/sacrificing/a financial advisor. Trying to figure it all out, I think out loud to Markus on ways I can get it even cheaper. And he says that my ideas are good, but I don't have to worry about it. He's gonna pay for it.
So then I sit there dumbfounded for two minutes.
Then I ask him why. His response is "Because I'm a rich engineer and I have to spend my money on something." I didn't know what to say.
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO NICE TO ME?????!!!!!!
I'm a fairly nice person, but really.... I so don't deserve all this. How do I thank/repay such generosity?
So now, it's someone else's money being spent. This brings on a whole new set of worries though. It's someone else's money, that means I definitely have to do something with this. I can't just record a cd because it's fun and I like to hear myself. SO WHAT AM I GONNA DO? I have not a clue. I could go in different directions with it. The safest seems to be to do a christianish cd. I could sell the cd through my church, maybe put together a band from different musicians at church. We could perform there and maybe do some performing elsewhere through an endless supply of church connections. I'm not totally opposed to this idea. It does seem the most realistic for me. The main downside is song choice. I've written alot of really good non-christian related songs, but maybe I should just let them sit to the side for now.
Another option is do whatever songs I want and try to put a band together based on my stuff. Maybe, if I get the right people in there, somebody will have connections with where we can play/sell cds/ get radio time, etc. But there are too many maybe's in that equation for me to feel comfortable with it.
Trying to do this solo is not even an option anymore. I am sick to death of performing with only me. I must have other musicians. I have no desire to do it on my own.
Sigh. So much to think about. Wish me luck. I need to go to bed now I suppose.
(Alternate titles for this blog)
(1) The Award for Super-Dooper-Friend-of-the-Year goes to...
(2) Marry Me, Markus
(3) Why Couldn't God have Made Me Rich, Instead of so Damn Good-Looking
(4) Confessions of a Narcissist
(5) WOO HOO!