Redo of a classic

Sara and I have written a redo of Aretha Franklin's "Natural Woman"

When I'm walkin' down the streets of Maadi (wha-oo)
Your leering eyes follow me (wha-oo)
When I'm tryin' to buy somethin' from your shop (wha-oo)
You charge me too much money

Now I know my hair ain't covered
And you can see my elbows
I know you are very repressed
But you don't have a chance in hell

So you make me feel
You make me feel
Yes you make me feel like an American sluuuut (sluuuut)

Heart Attack

This afternoon I walked home for school, took the elevator up to my apartment, and stepped out to be greeted by a bat in my stairwell. Talk about having a heart attack. My heart is still racing, my hands are still shaking.

A photographic journal of my first day as a first grade teacher. Here I am so nervous that I was up and ready to go at 6:15 am, nevermind the fact that I don't have to be there until 8:05 am and it is about a twenty minute walk from my apartment. 

My 7:00 am latte at Greco's this morning. 

My empty, quiet classroom, before the kids were in this morning. 

More of my classroom 

My class, or at least three fourths of my class. One little girl didn't show up today.  

More of my class. Savanna, Isabel, and Daniel.  

Me feeling very satisfied and very sleepy at the end of the day

Girlfriends are the best friends! 

Sara, Esther, Katie, and myself sharing a toast to . . . to. . . to something really significant I'm sure. 

Katie and Dottie 

Me with my Cairo buddies 

Commitment

Commitment is one of those things that I have a love/hate relationship with. Sometimes I thrive off of commitment. I love feeling like I truly believe in something or someone. I am truly dedicated to this particular whatever. However, sometimes commitment feels like a stone around my neck. Like this thing is binding me and holding me down against my will. And sometimes it is just scary. I feel like I will be committed, but whatever I'm committing myself to will eventually let me down in some way. And from that I will feel disillusioned, disappointed, and disoriented.

I find myself at a crossroad with something I have always felt deeply committed to . . . my family. In the past I guess I've had it pretty easy with my family. We have generally all gotten along well. We have always known that we love each other, support each other, and though we may disagree at times, we are always there for each other. Lately things feel a bit different. I can't explain it all. I can't understand it all. But I am committed. I couldn't give up on them, even if I really wanted to. If you think of it, pray for my family and this "transition period" or whatever it is.

I don't understand

I don't understand how people you have known and loved and known that you were loved by them can turn around and become complete strangers to you. How does this happen? Did we not nuture our relationship enough? Did I hurt you in someway or abandon you when you needed me? I wish I had answers. I wish I could try and do something differently than I have done it . . . I just don't know what.

I don't understand how people can commit certain crimes. I can understand stealing because you are hungry and things people do when they get crazy with revenge. But I don't understand how people think when they attack a completely innocent person. The world is full of sick people.

I don't understand myself. I can be so fickle sometimes. I resolve to act or think in a certain way, but then I often lack the discipline to stick to it.

Harry Potter

I finished! The book was definitely a page turner. But what the @#&*!!?? Dumbledore???!!!! That is so not right!!

Today at work I really got a good start on my classroom and it is starting to look really good. I am so excited about teaching. I am a big geek. My friend Pat blogged the other day about being a dork over things like comic books. I am truly a dork about my job. Sorry Pat, but I way out dork you. Being a dork about comic books or being a dork about teaching . . . I am definitely winning this contest.

Other good things going on in my life right now include spending lots of time with Esther (since the rest of the family is gone), my friend Craig being back from Canada, getting back into the swing of things here with my cell group and worship team, and getting to play music with Ed.

A Blog for Esther

Last night Esther requested that there be a new blog for her to read in the morning, so here it is.

I have nothing much to write about. Work is fine. Meetings, meetings, and more meetings all week. I finally got a chance to start setting up my classroom yesterday afternoon.

I am nearly done with Harry Potter. I wanted to finish last night, but at 2:00 am I reached that point where you keep reading the same paragraph over and over and so I had to put it down. I am ready to finish though. I can't seem to get anything else accomplished when I am home until I am done with this book.

I still have no coffee pot. Apparently it was broken over the summer. So it's wait til I get to work for coffee or instant coffee. I promise to write a more interesting blog soon. Now I am going to read Harry Potter.

Back to School

Today is my first day back to work after the summer break. This week is just prep work with teachers and such, and then the kids are back in a week. But I'm still nervous about today, which I have no good reason to be. I just am. So anyhow, I woke up a awhile ago and went to put on a pot of coffee and, horror of horrors, I can't find the Kauffman's coffee pot!! NNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!! How can I function under these circumstances?!

Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe the added caffiene in my system wouldn't exactly help my nerves. Yeah, that's it. I'll think of it that way.

A Little Bit of Wonderful

Just thought I'd share some good news with everyone. First, Lisa had her baby. Emlyn Michelle was born Wednesday just a few hours before I left. She has had to spend a little bit of time in the ICU unit due to some complications, but is going to be fine.
Second good news is my parents want to pay off the remainder of the money that I owe to LaGrange College. This figure, in the neighborhood of $1000, has been holding me back from returning to school for teaching certification. So this is really wonderful for me.
What makes people just want to give me money? I never have money. Never. Only enough to live and that's it. But somehow something or someone just comes along and I have money. Whether it's a plane ticket, a school debt, money for recording, people just give me stuff. Wow. Maybe I'm a super hero and this is my super power. I have the power to make people give me stuff without even asking for it. Just kidding. But a big thanks to my mom and dad.

Back to Cairo

So I'm back in Cairo now and, oddly enough, it feels more like home than Augusta did over the summer. Weird huh? I can't quite figure it. I've lived in Augusta since I was 8 years old. I'm here for six months in this culture that is completely different from everything I've known before and now it suddenly feels like home.

Bad Crazy vs. Good Crazy

Recent events in my life have brought me in contact with some crazy people. This is no big suprise. Anyone who has met my dad knows that something is just a little bit off upstairs, but in a weird and wonderful way. My dad is the good kind of crazy. So now I'm seeing some bad kind of crazy come in close contact with my family and it is freaking me out big time. I know running away from problems doesn't solve them, but I have never been so ready to leave anywhere in my entire life. I can't handle it. And the worst of it is that this crazy calls himself a Christian. I won't go into the details, but we all know the type. The ones who says you're not a Christian if you don't speak in tongues, exorcize demons, and hear God's audible voice every moment of every day.

As I Christian, I begin to feel embarassed to call myself one for fear that people will think I am like these people. I literally have to remind myself why I call myself a Christian. My being a Christian is not because I am out to win some holier-than-thou competition. I am not a Christian because I am afraid of hell and damnation. I do not call myself a follower of Christ because it's the cool thing to do or to please my parents. I am a Christian because I believe in the cause of Christ. I see how He lived a good, holy, just, righteous, and loving life. I want that. I see how He endured the worst of humanity, yet still wanted relationship with us. I want to try to understand that. I see how He took up the case of widows and orphans. He healed the sick, fed the hungry, befriended the rejects, and even raised the dead. He gave hope to the hopeless. He gave meaning and purpose to the lives of lost. The hope that I could see some of those things happen in my life is why I follow Christ. I believe that He was God in human form and if that makes me crazy I'm ok with that. I believe that He died and then rose from the dead and ascended into heaven. So if that makes me crazy, I'm still ok with that. I'm ok with the world looking at me and saying "you are a freak" or thinking that I am stupid or gullible. I make no apologies for my faith. I am not perfect. I am not always some shining example of everything that a Christian should be. But I am a work in progress. So anyways, I am constantly reminding myself lately why I allow myself to be associated with some of these people who I feel like are nothing like me and I completely disagree with them. It's because of Christ. It's because I can never be ashamed of Him or His name. His coolness way outshines the uncoolness of all the nutso Christians that ever existed.

Goodbye Sucks

Yesterday I went to church and it was my chance to say goodbye to a good chunk of my friends at both VCC and the Downtown Vineyard. I couldn't do it. I left both churches giving a grand total of two proper goodbyes. One was Stef at VCC and the other was little Junior at Downtown Vineyard. It's just too sad. People are probably getting pissed at me thinking that I just don't care and I'm leaving them without saying so much as anything. But truth be told, I just can't handle how sad I feel when I'm saying farewell for at least 6 months to people that I love. They have no idea how much I miss them when I'm away. So if I leave any of you without saying goodbye please don't stay mad at me. I really do love you. I promise.

Changing subjects entirely. I am playing at the Mission's open mic night tomorrow. If you can make it out there, I'd love to hang out with as many of you as humanly possible on my last night in Augusta till Christmas.

Killing Time

Nearly an hour till I have to go anywhere and I'm just killing some time. I could read or go socialize with my parents and their slightly odd friend they have staying here. But the computer called my name before I even thought about doing the other options. So here I am.

It's just a few days till I go back to Cairo. How do I feel? Maybe a better question would be what am I not feeling? I'm happy, excited, expectant, nervous, sad, relieved, overwhelmed, confused, not quite ready, and oh-so-ready all at the same time. I can tell you a few things I am ready for. I am ready for (1) using my mind in a productive way, (2) seeing Sara and Esther, (3) getting started on my recording project, (4) playing Settlers of Catan at Dom's house, and (5) cheap groceries. I can tell you a few things I am not quite ready for (and probably never will be). I'm not ready for (1) saying good-bye to all my Augusta friends and family for another 6 months, (2) missing my sister and brother each having their first child, (3) saying adios to good Mexican food for 6 months, (4) teaching first grade, and (5) making a budget and sticking to it so I can fly home for Christmas.

Muffin Conspiracy

All morning I have been attempting to make muffins for my sister's upcoming shower. Without fail, everytime I stick a muffin tray in the oven some one calls me up and wants to chat for half an hour. So I get completely distracted and burn my muffins. It is a conspiracy.

Responsibility. . .what's that?

The family drama has come to a head in my household and I don't know how much more I can take. I won't go into all the details, but let's just say that (as usual) I get thrown in the middle and forced to play the role of mediator. Everybody thinks that I am the right person to "vent" to. A word of advice to you all: when you need to just vent about someone or a situation, go to a person removed from the situation. When family members vent to me about other family members it makes me feel responsible to try and make things right between the two of them and I can't. It's their problems, their arguements, their issues. By telling me all your feelings on these situations you are going through, it is impossible for me to stay unbiased and just be a listening ear. Please, for the love of God, leave me out of it. And hey, still even better, why don't you just talk to that person instead of everybody else?

All this drama is making me crave time away from family, though I love them dearly. Luckily, I am scheduled to go out with Angella, Kim, and John Borroughs tonight for some good, just-like-the-old-days hang out time. I am so ready for it. Tonights free drinks will be provided by 1102. Ladies get free apple martinis between 9 and 10!! Which is fabulous because I am broke beyond belief and up for drinking a bit irresponsibly tonight. So apple martinis here I come!

First Grade

I finally got an email for the Head of Primary School where I am working for the next year. So I am officially down for teaching first grade! That was what I was hoping for. I am so excited and completely nervous at the same time. I am in charge of these kids education for the next year. What if I do a bad job? I start to think "well, it's just one year, if I screw it up a bit then surely the kids can catch up with their peers the next year." But everything is so important when you are a kid. Every little thing that happens seems to shape you into who you are for the rest of your life. The whole thing is exciting and nerve wracking.

So I haven't blogged in over a week and I'm sorry for being so neglegent. What can I say? It has been a fairly busy, yet uneventful week. Monday I worked and went to home group. Tuesday I hung out with Lisa at the grocery store, ran errands for my mom, and went to the Metro for a cup of coffee. Wednesday I worked and then went to Will and Sarah's for dinner. Thursday I worked and went to Lisa's baby shower. Friday I got my hair trimmed, had a honey facial, and a hand/foot massage all for free! I have connections with people in important positions you know (Lisa at Persnipety and Jennifer Green at New Life Natural Foods). After that I sorted through my things in storage to see if I could find any clothes I wanted to take back to Cairo. Then I cleaned house a bit and later went out with Bee Jay and Alice to First Friday. Saturday I worked, planned for my sister's baby shower, cleaned house some more, went out to dinner for Angella's b-day, and watched a movie with my parents. We ate at TakoSushi for Angella's celebration. This resteraunt was on my list of places to go before I left Augusta again. It was great. I need to go back before I leave.

So as you can see my week was full, my week was fun, but none of it seemed blogworthy. Then Sunday came along. Sunday was blogworthy. Sunday I had plans with my friend Gary to go kayaking. I had never been kayaking, but it sounded like fun and I was excited about it. Well, as it turns out, AWOL is closed on Sundays and we couldn't get a second kayak. So we borrowed another boat from one of his friends (I think it was called a tandum). It was a two-seater boat with both passengers facing forward. I get in first while he holds the boat steady. Let me preface the next part with this: I am not very experienced with boats . . . I canoed once about a year ago and the time before that was probably when I was 8. Even considering that, I should have known better. I wasn't thinking . . . at all. I just stepped in the boat as if boats are the sturdiest, most-balanced things to step on. You know what happens next. The boat flips and I am in nasty lake Olmstead water. Way to go Dottie!!!!! And just to add insult to injury, I was about as graceful as . . . as . . . as . . . I don't know! Let's just say I wasn't displaying the least little bit of strength or grace or anything like that in getting back up on the dock. Gary had to completely drag my wet ass out of the water onto the dock. Humiliations, humiliations without end. Just talking about it, all the humiliation I felt at that moment is rushing back into my face. I only have one other story that really competes with this one for me feeling like a complete idiot and I'll save that for another blog. So anyway, after that kayaking was fun and relaxing and we had a nice time. Though, I wish the sun could stay out for more than 10 seconds at a time.