Digging Up the Past

Have you ever spent time with someone who forces you to dig up the past and every painful experience you ever had? Could be a psychologist, a counselor, or a concerned friend.
I had this experience yesterday. Some of it was good and helpful, especially dealing with the more recent past and things that I am still working through. However, when it gets into issues I dealt with years ago, people I forgave long before, I feel like why are we rehashing this? Why do I have to relive this in my mind all over? Just because I forgive doesn't mean that the memories are no longer painful. I almost felt that this person didn't believe me when I said that I had already forgiven those people because my personality is still to this day affected by events that happened so so so long ago. My response is this. . . when you are a child you are like a dry sponge. You take in everything around you and it becomes part of what shapes you. One significant (or even seemingly insignificant event) can skew how you see yourself, how you see others, or how you see life in general. Now if you compound that with similar events taking place on a regular basis throughout your childhood, of course it will most likely affect you for a long time and maybe your whole life. Even if down the road you realize that your views might be incorrect and maybe your experience shouldn't be the only factor in your judgements about life, that doesn't mean that you automatically wake up a changed person. Just because we forgive doesn't mean that we automatically forget the events of our past and it doesn't mean that we automatically have a personality change.
Somewhere between my God-given make up and my cultural experience and my personal experience, I have ended up to be a bit of a loner, who doesn't like to rely too much on others, and a bit of a people-pleaser, always needing to have affection/approval from others. I suppose the two are actually opposites, but that's me. And I have made steps forward to change some of the negative aspects of these two traits. But it just doesn't usually happen over-night. So be patient with yourself and with others. We are changing and growing at different paces.