Needless to say, the 4th of July is not quite the same in Egypt as it is in the States. No fireworks and basically almost no one celebrates it, naturally. The US Embassy threw a celebration last weekend, but since my passport was still at the mogamma, I was unable to attend the festivities. I wasn't too bummed about it. It would be hot. There would be free food that I couldn't eat (since I am a vegetarian). There would not be fireworks. There would not be any beer. And what says "independence" better than fireworks and beer?! So I went to the Rugby club to watch the World Cup games instead.
So tonight my 4th of July celebration consists of me cooking dinner at Chelsie's for a couple of friends and then going to the Rugby Club to watch the World Cup.
Anyhow, the count down till I leave Egypt is down to 1 month and three days. YIKES! I am trying to be really positive about the move, but I am a bit scared. Scared of the Job Hunt. Scared of the depression I stuggled with for the year and a half I lived in Augusta after college. Scared of feeling like I don't fit there anymore. Scared of not being able to support myself. Do you ever know without a doubt that you are doing the right thing, but feel scared to death of it? Most of it is pretty much irrational fear, I confess. But it's there none the less. I try to cover it up with plans to get involved with this, that and the other. I look online for auditions for choral societies and theatre companies and ballroom dance classes. I try and force the excitement of going back with thoughts of dishwashers and dryers and Mexican food and being able to read street signs. Sure I am genuinely looking forward to be an active part in my family and friends' lives in Augusta, but still I am scared.
And inevitably, the thoughts of all the things I will miss about Egypt come rushing into my mind. The Red Sea and Dahab. Feluka rides on the Nile. The school I worked at, the kids I taught and the wonderful people I worked with. The church and all the interesting people I met there and the community I found there. The excitement of living abroad. The feeling that everyday pushes me out of my comfort zone a bit, everyday is some kind of a challenge. The life I have made here. I came here with an absolutley clean slate and was able to make my life whatever I wanted it to be. I loved that. I needed that. Honestly I have loved Egypt from day one and had only a few moments of frustration with it since. I never once regreted coming. I never once questioned what God was thinking when He brought me here. It was obvious. It was clear. So I can only hope that this next phase of my life will be just as clear. It might be. It might not be. And just because it isn't always clear, doesn't mean that it is not where I am supposed to be. Alright I'll stop babbling now. Happy 4th to all you Americans!
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4 comments:
Hey Dottie!! I am SO looking forward to seeing you again, as are many of us. I tell you what, when you get back we'll have you over and have a cookout, a delayed 4th of July cookout (Portabella mushrooms)and drink ice cold beer.
I admire your courage and sense of adventure in going to Egypt - I think that you have done what many only dream of doing. You go girl.
Also, you are coming back a different person, in some ways, than the one who left. I KNOW that you will be fine and be able to follow your dreams and passions.
Oh, finally, you are more than welcome to come hang out in our small group at Steve and Lori's.
Pete
Thanks Pete! I really am looking forward to seeing you guys again and reconnecting.
if you want, i can change all of the augusta street signs to egypt-talk. nobody here reads them anyway.
Hey there, Happy 4th of July 2 u. As an egyptian who hardly knows his own contry's national feasts its just imposible to know about other nations. I some how know how u feel about that huge jump out of Egypt. Some times God's will seem to be very uncomfortable but, there will be alot of great things that will spring out of it. if you look at the bright side, you will take all that you learnt and practiced here home and that means it wouldnt be the same like before.
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