I like myself and I don't like myself

Public announcement number 1: I like myself.

I like myself when I say to myself, "Why don't you think of something nice to do for somebody else? Nothing major, just something that would let people know that you do care about them and are interested in them." So I said that to myself today and I decided that after worship team practice I would invite anyone and everyone on the team to join me for a cup of coffee at Grecos. So I did, and five of us went for coffee and carrot cake. We had a great time discussing everything from politics and war to our favorite actors and actresses to cultural differences to music and many other things along the way. So I got home and had to pat myself on the back and wonder at why I haven't been doing this all along. Why is it that now that I'm in my last two weeks here I suddenly feel like making new friends and getting closer with the friends that I haven't been super close with?

Public announcement number 2: I don't like myself.

I don't like myself when I am inconsiderate of the people who care about me the most. I had to grovel at a good friend's feet today, because I blew her off just before I left for Alexandria. Why did I blow her off you ask? Well because I was too much of a chicken shit to stand up to another friend and tell her that I couldn't leave earlier than planned for Alex, for the simple reason that I had already made plans with another friend that evening. Sometimes I am really inconsiderate. I don't like that.