Week of Highs and Lows

Where do I begin with this week? Well, let's back track a little. . .

Going back to December 19th, I put my paper work in for an apartment in Carrboro. This began a frustrating saga of delay after delay which has been on going for nearly a month now.

Going back to last week, I began a huge mailing project at work involving somewhere in the ballpark of 2,000 letters going out. All of these letters are individually addressed and tweaked slightly for each and every person. So this takes alot of time.

So Monday, my boss and I catch a typo in the letters. We start to redo what we had already done, then he decides that the typo isn't so significant that we should redo everything. So we carry on with only a little bit of lost time. I skip my lunch break to try and make up for the lost time. No real news on my apartment. I talked to the lady who had been handling my paperwork, only to find out that she is no longer handling my paperwork and it has been passed on to her superior. I called her superior, but was only able to leave a message for her.

Tuesday, I talked to the lady who now is handling my paper work for the apartment. She is very apologetic for the length of time it has taken and promises me an answer one way or the other by the end of the day. I never heard back from her that day. I called back and left a message. Then at work, a more significant typo is found at about 4:00 pm and we literally have to redo each and every single letter. I want to shoot myself in the face. Time, money, effort gone down the drain. I stay three hours late to work on it. I leave work only to find that my car won't start. I sit in my car for 30 or 40 minutes telling myself that the next time I turn the key it will crank. No such luck. I call Rodger and Angela to come rescue me. I eat chinese food while I wait for them. They come. We stand out in the cold trying to charge my battery and then replace my battery, but it was all for naught. My car would not start. They bought me a snickers bar. We go home.

Today, I make significant progress at work and start to feel like I might actually be catching up. Finally. I have my car towed to a shop, but they can't work on it until tomorrow. So I don't know what the damage is gonna be there. I hope it's not too rediculous. The apartment people call. I'm approved!! Double Finally!! Yay!

Tomorrow, hopefully my car will be fixed. Hopefully it won't be too expensive. Hopefully I can find the time and the transportation to go by my new apartment complex to sign final paperwork and get my key. Hopefully there will be no more hang ups at work.

This weekend, Esther comes to visit and help me move in!! Maybe, just maybe Bee Jay and Alice will come up from GA with my bed.

So hopefully all the bad things happened at the beginning of the week and it will all just get better as the week progresses.

Investing is Important (Subtitle: What God is Teaching Me)

In my quiet times these days I have been thinking about the past, the present, and the future. I have been asking God questions like why Chapel Hill? What should I be doing while I'm here? School? Just building relationships? Focusing on church, church, church? What is the next step/what am I preparing for in the future? What have I learned about the past that can guide me in the present/future? Etc.

Do I have answers to all of these questions? Heck no.

Has God spoken to me at all relating to these question? I'd like to think so.

Here is what I have (forgive the stream of thought writing that might not make any sense to anyone but me): School is still burning in my heart. I want to go back. I want to do education. I'm really thinking ESL, but that is negotiable. Chapel Hill is a great area for schools. If I don't do it at this point in my life, will I ever? But also while I'm here, I want Chapel Hill to be like Cairo and Augusta were in some ways. Cairo and Augusta have felt like home. I have connections with the places themselves and with so many of the people there. I was invested while I was there and now I want to invest myself in the community here. Whatever that means, I don't know exactly, but I want it. In college at LaGrange, I was not invested. My heart was still in Augusta. Sure I made a few friends and generally enjoyed my time there, but I was always looking to go back to Augusta and to seeing my friends there. I don't want to miss out on Chapel Hill the way I missed out on LaGrange. I want my heart (or at least a third of it) to be here in Chapel Hill. So that's all I've got. It's not really a plan of action at this point, but maybe it is the beginnings of such a plan.
___________________________________
Other Updates:
I still am up in the air with the apartment and I don't feel like even talking about it right now.

I am excited about going to visit the botanical gardens here in Chapel Hill today with 2 (maybe 3) friends.

I am excited about seeing Esther over MLK weekend. Either she will visit me or I will visit her. We haven't decided all the details yet.

I am brainstorming with Sara about doing a half-marathon in the spring with her and then doing a full marathon in the fall with her.

Bubble Tea

Tonight Rodger, Angela, and I ventured out on the streets of Chapel Hill to accomplish three things: (1) get Rodger a gym membership at a gym where a poster of Arnold Schwartzeneger watches over you as you work out. . . check, (2) laminate signs for our church. . . check, and (3) try bubble tea . . . check. What in the world is bubble tea? Read about it here. It was weird and I don't know how I feel about it, but if any of you ever come to visit me. . . you have to try it while you are here. There is nothing in the world like it.

Apartment Frustration

I am frustrated with the lady who is handling my credit/rental history for getting this apartment in Carrboro. If I get this place, I will be taking over the lease for a guy who is moving out of the country. So when I went in on December 19th to give her all my paper work and references and what not, she knew that this whole process was time sensitive. I will give her that the Christmas/New Year holiday was just around the corner, but nevertheless she said that she would have all the work done by Thursday of last week. I am not pushy and were it just a matter of me getting an apartment I probably would just wait patiently and never say a word to this lady. But the poor guy who is trying to be sure he isn't breaking his lease before he leaves the country is stressing out, and understandably so. So yesterday I called her up to find out the status and what was still needing to happen. She still needed to speak with two of my references and there was also some sort of information she needed from the payroll headquarters from my employment. There isn't much I can do about the payroll stuff, I really just have to leave that to her. But I emailed the two references with her contact info and asked them to contact her as soon as they could. Response from reference number 1: "today was the first time she called me; I missed her call and I tried to call back twice, but I haven't been able to reach her". Response from reference number two: "she called twice before, but never left her name or what organization she was with in her message, so I figured she had the wrong number; today she called and actually left a name; I called her back twice before actually speaking to her, then she asked for the rental information for somebody else entirely; I told her I never even met that person and then suggested that perhaps she needed the rental history for Dottie Lee; this apparently threw her off completely and she said she would call me back." At this point in time, I'm not sure if she has cleared everything up in her mind and gotten back with my references, but I am so frustrated.

Snow!

We got snow in Chapel Hill yesterday! When it comes to snow, I turn into a kid automatically and just want to run outside to build snowmen and have snowball fights until my hands are frostbitten. Unfortunately, I was working all day in my office that has no windows. I missed the snow entirely. Bummer. Hopefully there will be more to come.

The New Year Post

Happy New Year everyone! I hope yours was as wonderfully relaxing as mine.

I am back in North Carolina now. I came back on Sunday, as we had church on Sunday evening here. I went to a New Year's party last night. It was nice, but different since (outside of Rodger and Angela) I only was acquainted with about four of the people there and the rest were total strangers to me. Still it was a nice party and a happy way to bring in the New Year.

I lazed around this morning and took my time getting out of bed and getting ready. Then I went and spent some of the gift cards I got for Christmas. After that, I went to Starbucks (I got two gift cards for Starbucks). I enjoyed a cinnamon chip scone and a triple grande latte while I contemplated decorating ideas/themes for the rooms in my potential apartment. Speaking of the apartment, I still don't know whether I am in or not. I am hoping to know by the end of this week, but I was also hoping to know by the end of last week. We shall see.

After daydreaming about my potential apartment for at least a solid hour and a half, I came home and did some reading. Then I forced myself to go jogging. I didn't go running at all when I was in Augusta. I figured I would be too busy visiting with friends and family to really make it a priority, and I was right. So yesterday I eased myself back into gear with a jog/walk for only about 1.5-2 miles. Today I upped it to approximately 4 miles and jogged the whole time. My feet felt like bricks on the ends of my lead-filled legs. Of course on one of my days of getting back into the groove of running again I would cross paths with a man whose legs seemed to be a bout ten feet long and who ran with the grace and speed of a freaking dear. Not only did we cross paths once, as if that weren't enough to make me feel completely inadequate as a runner, no we crossed paths twice. I just have to accept the fact that I will never be one of those really graceful, gorgeous runners. I will always be short. I will always run out of breath just a little more easily than most runners (I have chronic asthma). I will always turn beat red every time my heart rate is raised even a little. Okay, I am going on a complete bunny trail here. The point of this paragraph is supposed to be that I made myself get back into gear right away for three reasons: (1) the longer I wait to get back into it, the harder it will be; (2) I really do love running, even though the first couple of days back are a kick in the pants; and (3) my New Year resolution is to run a marathon this year. I haven't picked which marathon or where or when, but I will make a decision after I have done a little more research as to what my options are and what is realistic.

Courtesy of Esther. . .

I finally have some pictures posted. I never, never remember to bring a camera anywhere. But Esther is a picture taking fool these days, so she sent me some from my recent visit to D.C.

Hey! If I'm lucky, my family will send me some from Christmas and I can post some more!

">

">

">

Khan-el-Khalili

All four of us had lived in Cairo for some period of time, so when we passed a store in D.C. named the Khan-el-Khalili, which was named after Cairo's famous open air market, we just had to go in and check it out.

Emily's Car Match

Emily is a friend of mine who I met during my time in Cairo. As fate would have it, she is now in D.C. So when I made the trip to visit with Esther, I got to see her also! Yay!

We were walking around the streets of D.C. and found Emily's car match. We decided that since they match so well, the car was destined to be hers. Then we tried to find our own matches. Unfortunately for me, I didn't spot any pink and black vehicles.

More From D.C.

">

Mirror Series Continued

">

">

"

The Mirror Series

"

">

">

Pictures From D.C.

">

">

In Case You Were Wondering. . .

We went to visit the historic post office in D.C. It seems that they have a bell ringing society that meets there weekly to learn and practice the art of bell ringing. We got a kick out of this sign explaining bell ringing and its many benefits. My favorite line is the one about "euphoric detachment". Who knew that bell ringing was so intense?

Merry Christmas From Georgia

I am love, love, loving Christmas with my family. My Aunt and Uncle from Pennsylvania are in town to celebrate with us. Unfortunately, my brother and his family could not be with us on Christmas day, but I will have the pleasure of spending Friday night with them. Lots of pictures have been taken of my adorable niece and nephew and I'd like to post some on my blog, but you know how I am. . . I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for them.

Last night was the Christmas Eve service at my church here in Augusta. It was nice. I even got the nerve up to invite a friend who is not a church goer. I think he had a nice time. I hope he had a nice time. I always feel so on edge about it. I don't want my friends to feel uncomfortable at all or like I am trying to pressure them into a weird situation, but I do want to share my life with them and I do want to share myself with them and most of all I do want to share God with them. So I invited him and he came. We looked at Christmas lights afterwards and talked about a book he is in the process of writing. I really enjoyed my time with him.

Well, I hope you are all having a very merry Christmas!!!

Home Again, Home Again. . .

Jiggity-jog
Home Again, Home Again
With a big, fat hog

That was one of those weird things my mom used to say all the time when I was a kid and never knew what it was about or where it originated from.

Anyhow, I am home again for the whole week, but I left all my hogs in North Carolina. So if any of you Augustans would like to get together, I would be most grateful for your friendly, familiar faces. The week is already starting to look insanely busy, but good. Well, I'm babysitting my niece and nephew and they are waking up from nap time. So gotta go!

The Apartment

I looked at an apartment tonight. The place isn't fabulous with all the bells and whistles that one ideally hopes to find in a place, but it is a good size for me and in a good location for me and at a good price for me. The things I love about it are as follows:

1. I'll have an extra room for music room/office/extra room for visitors (SO FRIENDS HAVE TO COME VISIT ME!!!!)

2. The living room is big enough to host a small group.

3. The bedroom closet is gi-normous and will be spacious enough for my gi-normous wardrobe (I collect clothes as one of my hobbies).

4. The price is very reasonable.

Things I don't love are as follows:

1. The kitchen is teeny tiny.

2. No washer/dryer or hookups in the apartment. You have to use one in the basement of the building or go to the laundry mat. (But looking on the bright side, I may actually have a chance to meet people while I am doing my laundry.)

3. Carpet everywhere but the kitchen and bathroom. I am more a fan of hardwood floors or even tile. Plus, I don't currently own a vacuum. So that's gonna be one more expense.

4. It is on the third floor, which won't be a long term problem but it is gonna suck when I'm moving in.

I go in tomorrow to fill out paperwork at the complex. Pray that things go well. It would be so awesome to move into my own place as soon as I come back after the holidays. But if it doesn't work out, it is not the end of the world (although it might feel like it for a day or two).

Apartment Hunting

I'm looking at an apartment tomorrow. . . and thus the next phase of getting myself settled begins. Wish me luck! (and keep wishing me luck on the job front, because I am still a temp and who knows if it will really work out or not)

Back From D.C.

The weekend was great. I went to D.C. to visit Esther. Esther has an adorable basement apartment in D.C. The weekend was spent catching up on each others lives, walking around D.C. in the freezing cold, playing scrabble, and watching a super-cheesy chick flick. Of course I didn't bring my camera, but Esther took some pictures and she should be sending some to me. So maybe I'll post some in a couple of days.
____________________________
Also, tonight was our Christmas service at Greenleaf. In some ways, our first Christmas service was something akin to the first Christmas itself. Now don't get me wrong, Jesus' birth was way more monumental than our little service. But Jesus' birth was humble and things didn't go the way I'm sure Mary and Joseph wanted or planned for. Similarly, our service was humble with only a small number of us meeting together. And things didn't go the way Rodger and Angela and I planned. Angela accidentally left her sermonette at home on the desk. Rodger forgot the communion bread, so we had to make a stop at the grocery store before church and that made us quite rushed to get to church on time. I had a special song in the service that was supposed to be me and the two kids singing, but one of the two kids got stage fright so it was just me and the other child. And the room that was supposed to be left unlocked for us to meet in was locked and we couldn't get in. So we met in the lobby of the building. In the end, it all came together and was just fine. Nothing big and fancy, nothing that gave the appearence of being monumental or important, but hopefully God was honored through it all. Hopefully, God looked lovingly down on our humble little service and smiled.

Good Day

Today is one of those days where nothing really amazing happened, but lots of little good things happened and you just find yourself smiling all day long. yay. I like those days alot.

Good thing #1: My boss paid me a compliment today. He thanked me for all my work in the office and complimented how organized and neat everything was and noted that it was so much better than before I was there.

Good thing #2: I had this crazy dream last night. I dreamed an episode of The Office. Not like a dream repeating an old episode. This was brand new episode of my very own imagination. I'm sure it was genius. Unfortunately, I can't remember enough of it to make any sense. Darn it.

Good thing #3: I got my oil changed at the best jiffy lube in the world. The employees there were so friendly and helpful to all of the customers, but they treated me like a movie star. Why, you ask? Because my car has over 361,000 miles on it. That is something to be treated with reverence in the jiffy lube world.

Good thing #4: This was actually from yesterday, but it had me smiling all day today. My boss told me that I have the whole week of Christmas off! Not that I mind working. I'm really loving it, but nothing beats seeing friends and family that I miss like crazy.

Good thing #5: A phone call from my mom. Sometimes she is just so sweet. I miss her.

Good thing #6: A phone conversation with my friend John. He always says the right things and makes me feel like a million dollars. Plus I found out that one of his friends thinks I have mad Dance, Dance Revolution skills, which is a major self -esteem booster for me.

Good thing #7: A voice mail from my friend Jeremy. He doesn't always say the right things, but when he does. . . you know he means it. :O)

Good thing #8: A comment on my blog from Dianna, and reading her blog as well. She makes me laugh and so do her girls.

Good thing #9: A generally nice/fun evening with Rodger and Angela. I can't put my finger on it, but there was a feeling of pleasantness throughout the house. Not that it is ever really unpleasant, but tonight was exceptionally pleasant.

Good thing #10: Emails from one of my sisters as well as my sister-in-law. Just good to touch base with them, ya know.

Good thing #11: I am going to see Esther tomorrow. That definitely made me smile all day today.

Screwy Blog

The blog keeps saying my posts are from last Saturday, but they aren't. wierd.

Running Club

I joined a running club over the weekend. Tonight was my first group run with the Cardinal Track Running Club. It was good. It was fun. Hopefully I'll make a new friend or two.

Meeting Downtown

Tonight was Greenleaf's first meeting in our new downtown location. It was great! One of the couples coming lives only three blocks away and was able to just walk to church! The location is better for everyone really, not to mention we are no longer a weird church meeting at a house out in the woods. Now when people ask me where the church meets, I can proudly say downtown on Franklin Street in the Bank of America Building. We are all really excited about it!

Pirate Party

Our neighbors threw a pirate party last night. Rodger, Angela, and I all donned our best piratey outfits and had a good time getting to know our neighbors just a little bit better. I could kick myself for not taking pictures. Oh well. It was a good time anyway. I don't get to go to nearly enough costume parties.

There's a Rumbly in My Tumbly

I stole this from Mark's blog.

I'm sure the book was a best seller.

A Place Downtown!

Greenleaf has managed to get a place to meet in downtown Chapel Hill! Yay! We are meeting in a conference room in the building that Angela works at during the week. This is great for several reasons.

1. People can easily get lost coming all the way out to Rodger and Angela's house for the first time. (the new place will be easy to find)

2. It is easy to imagine that people may be freaked out by coming to a church that meets in someone's house all the way out in the middle of the woods.

3. The new spot is a convenient location to most people in Chapel Hill.

4. The larger room means a better capacity for growth.

5. It is an encouragment to Rodger, Angela, and myself that as we are faithful in praying and doing our part of the work, God is meeting our needs and the needs of the church.

We will meet there starting this Sunday. The plan is to meet there for December without doing any extra advertising. We will take this month to get used to our new space and work out any kinks. In January we will advertise our meeting place and hopefully get some response.

Typo

Yesterday at work I had a good laugh with my boss (which is always good).

He stood next to me and dictated a letter while I transcribed it. So I type the letter up and start to proofread it. And in my defense, I wasn't finished proofreading. He looks over my shoulder and points out a mistake that would not have been good if it went out on the letter to another attorney (or anyone for that matter).

The phase should have been "if I do not hear from you".

I wrote "if I do not hear from f you".

Hee hee. I'm glad that one got caught in the proof read.

The First Day

Day one at the new temp-to-hire position went well. It is a small office with just the one lawyer and two other girls who work part-time. They all seemed really nice. The lawyer was up front with me that he was still advertising the position. So it very well may be that he doesn't decide in my favor, but I appreciate his honesty and openess. Other than that, not much else to say. I hope it goes well. I hope he hires me.

When It Rains, It Pours

For weeks nothing, nothing, nothing. Hardly any call backs. Maybe one interview. But no job.

But this week I had 5 interviews (plus one more on Saturday and a phone interview scheduled for Monday!). Crazy. The result: (1) two temp jobs to decide between, (2) a highly possible part-time pet-sitting position, (3) a back-up position as a substitute teacher, (4) a second interview at a place I really don't want to work at, (5) a potential part-time job at a law firm in Carrboro, and (6) two positions that (presumably) decided against me. So now it seems is decision time. I have to just take some time to really look into the different positions and see which one looks like the best fit for me. It is a bit overwhelming, but exciting nonetheless!

Good Feeling Affirmed

I got the temp job. It should keep me working through most of December. I will start either tomorrow afternoon or Friday. Yay!
The substitute teacher interview also went well. I need to get a TB test and have my college transcript sent to them and I'm in.
I also got another call back from a law office in Carrboro. I will have a phone interview with them on Monday morning. The position is only part-time, but the location is good and I'm more than qualified for it. So here's hoping it goes well and that by part-time they mean 25-30 hrs/wk, as opposed to 15-20 hrs/wk.

A Good Feeling

I don't know why or even if it means anything at all, but I have a good feeling about this week. Like maybe I'll get a job this week or at least move a step closer to getting a job. And I actually do have some real possibilities too. There was the interview on Monday. I have two interviews today (one for substitute teaching and the other for temporary admin work). I have one interview tomorrow (for another admin position). I also have been playing phone tag with a lady who runs a pet sitting agency.

So between all of those possibilities, I am bound to get something. Granted what I get may only be part-time or temporary or a longer commute than I would like, but it will still be something. Oh yeah, and I may have guitar student too. So we shall see.

Post-Thanksgiving Post

Thanksgiving and my time at home were lovely. Here are some highlights for me in no particular order:

1. Long talks and prayer with Shelley.
2. Playing Apples to Apples with Shelly and her girls.
3. Taking James to see a movie.
4. Decorating the tree with Julie and her crew.
5. Listening to James talk about the moon (he is obsessed with it now).
6. Playing Dance, Dance Revolution.
7. Watching 5 other adults play Dance, Dance Revolution.
8. Catching up with the elusive Lisa Pendlebury.
9. Having coffee with my mom.
10. Listening to the Shaun Piazza Band.
__________________________________

In other news, I had one interview yesterday morning. I felt that it went well. However this is another one that will be a heck of a commute. It took nearly an hour with no traffic problems and this is a commute that there will be plenty of traffic problems on. But at this point. . . if they offer it, I'm taking it.

I was supposed to have a second interview. This was supposed to be a group interview. I showed up. I was the only one who showed up (which works for me), but the girl at the desk said that there was some scheduling problems and they just wanted me to fill out an application and leave my resume. That was slightly disappointing, but I didn't have high hopes for this one anyhow. But I would very much like it if they did show interest in me. This one is in Durham, so it is much closer to home.

Outside of that, no news.

Last night I had some wonderful friend therapy with my good friend Shelley. Ah the beauty of friendship. We carry each others joys and sorrows around with us. When my good friend struggles, I stuggle. When my good friend is given good things, I enjoy those good things too. Luckily Shelley is going through a fair amount of good things in life these days, so talking to her got me to smiling and laughing so much that I could forget all my stress and worries for awhile. Friendship truly is a beautiful thing. On this Thanksgiving day, I am here to give thanks for it.

I am also going to say that Shelley mentioned a dream I had back at the end of August. So I searched my blogs this morning to reread my dream. I am not someone who believes that every dream I have is prophetic or God's voice speaking into my life, but this dream in particular did seem to give me a picture of how this whole Chapel Hill experience is going thus far. Unfortunately, the dream did not come to any sort of ending, happy or sad. It was one of those ones that seems to stop in the middle and you never see the ending, like it took a commercial break at the pivotal moment and never came back or like there should have been a "to be continued" sign that appeared after the last scene. Maybe I should pray for God to give me part II of the driving dream. Here are my imagined endings for this dream: (1)my car dies, a handsome stranger stops to fix it or give me a ride, and we end up taking a trip to the Red Sea to go scuba diving; (2) my car stops, I restart it, it suddenly starts working properly, and I go forward as I intended to from the beginning; or (3) a driver taken off guard smashes into my car, ambulances rush me to the hospital, but the best modern medicine can do for me is leave me as a vegetable for the remainder of my time here on earth.

More on the Job Front

The position I interviewed for last Monday. . . I didn't get it.

3 More Interviews!

Last night I managed to get a very preliminary interview for a receptionist position at a wholistic health clinic in Durham. This sounds like it would be a fun job, but I'm not getting my hopes too high on it. The impression I got was that they were bringing in anyone who responded to their ad. They have four set times for people to come in for a group interview. Then they start eliminating from there. So I'm not entirely sure that I am what they are looking for. I don't think they have looked at my resume or anything. Anyhow, I am going for the group interview they have scheduled for Monday at 12:00.

This morning I got a call back for a receptionist/administrative assistant position at a financial services firm in Cary. The lady I spoke to on the phone had actually read my resume and seemed genuinely interested in having me come in to interview. That interview is scheduled for Monday at 10:00am.

While I was on the phone with the lady from the financial services firm, I got a call on my cell phone regarding another job! This lady left a message. It was for a personal assistant position. She wants me to come in for an interview. I called her back, got her voicemail, and left a message. So hopefully I will be able to get that interview scheduled for early next week too.

_________________________

In other news, I am going home tonight for the Thanksgiving holidays. It will be good to be home, even though I was there only about a week and a half ago.

Church Planting is Hard

Just in case you all had any doubts in your mind, I am here to confirm that church planting is not easy. I think I have cried more in the last three weeks than I have in the last year (due to all the job stuff, loneliness and various other issues I am dealing with). I am starting to worry that Rodger and Angela will think that I am a complete emotional basket case. I swear I am not normally this way.

But I will say this: I know I am supposed to be here, and although this whole experience is harder than I expected or was prepared for, I am still absolutely 100% committed to this. Period, end of paragaph.

The Interview Update

I had an interview this morning. It went well. They want someone to start next week, so I'll know something by the end of this week. That's good. At least I won't be sitting around wondering for weeks on end.

Running is Fun

So much fun that I jogged 10 miles this morning. It was awesome.

Speedway

I get so nervous. . . I'm shaking
Gets so I got no pride at all
Gets so bad but I just keep coming back for more
I guess I just get off on that stuff

I'm thinking about taking some time
I'm thinking about leaving soon

I got some things I can't tell anyone
I got some things I just can't say
They're the kind of things no one knows about
I just need somebody to talk to me

I'm thinking about leaving tomorrow
I'm thinking about being on my own
I think I been wasting my time
I'm thinking about getting out

In all this time,
The bottom line's you don't know how much I feel
You say you see, but I don't agree
You don't know how I feel

I'm just tryin' to get myself some gravity
You're just tryin' to get me to stay
Sometimes I sit here looking down upon Los Angeles
Sometimes I'm floating away

I'm thinking about breaking myself
I'm thinking about getting back home
I think I been waiting for way too long
I'm thinking about getting out

Interview!

I have an interview on Monday! Yay!

It looks like this job is another one that will be a 45 minute commute (if I get it). So that isn't ideal, but it would be a job. And if I get it, I can always find a place to live that is somewhere in between Chapel Hill and Cary.

Anyhow, wish me luck!

Words of "Encouragment"

Since I've been out of a job, many caring people have come to me with words of encouragment. Many of these words have actually been very encouraging. Some of them are mildly encouraging. But every so often I'll get a word of encouragment that is actually not encouraging at all. For example:

Other Person: Before I found this job I was out of work for a year and a half.

Me: What did you do during that time?

Other Person: Character building.

I literally cannot fathom being out of work for a year and a half. Please God do not let that happen to me.

A Weekend Back Home

I can't wait for Chapel Hill to feel like home, but I'm just not there yet. I must admit that Augusta is still home and Chapel Hill is this really cool place that I am staying at for the time being. I think I will eventually feel at home in Chapel Hill, but it will take some time and some change in circumstances. For example, it's hard for a place to feel like home when you really only know about five people there and only two of them do you consider close friends. It's hard for a place to feel like home when everyday is a big question mark (will I get job today?, will I get lost today?, will I meet someone new today?, will I sit around bored to death all day?), meaning that there is no real routine in my life there. It is hard for a place to feel like home when you are living in someone else's home. On top of that it's hard for a place you've lived in for one month to feel like home when you compare it to a place you lived in for over 14 years. So I am trying to patiently wait for Chapel Hill to become "home".

But for right now Augusta still feels like home and home is where I am for the weekend. After my disappointing week, my darling little sister told me to come home and she would foot the bill for gas and a ticket to go see the Avett Brothers (one of our favorite bands). It's good to be home and be among family and friends. It's good to have days so filled up with activity that I have no idea how I will get everything accomplished that I want to get accomplished and how I will have time to see all the people I want to see. But the best part is HUGS and lots of them.

Back to Square One

I did not get hired on. He decided in favor of another girl he interviewed. She starts today. I was told yesterday at 4:50 pm that they didn't need me anymore. He tried to be nice about it and complemented this, that, and the other about my work. He said he would be happy to give me a reference if I needed it. But somehow all the compliments smell like manure, because HE DIDN'T WANT ME SO CLEARLY ALL MY GOOD TRAITS WEREN'T ENOUGH FOR HIM SO WHAT MAKES HIM THINK THEY'LL BE ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY ELSE.

The rejection from not getting a job after you temp there for two and a half weeks is slightly different than the rejection you feel when you don't get a job after interviewing. Not everyone interviews well, even people who are great at their job. And even people who normally interview well can have a bad one from time to time. So rejection after an interview can be justified by saying that "oh if he had only seen me in an actual work environment, then he would have hired me." But at this moment I can't even say that to make myself feel better.

Rejection after temping is more like the rejection after being dumped. Okay, I will give you that being dumped is decidedly worse. You all know that stinging feeling when your past significant other(s) sat you down and gave you the talk. The whole "you're so great, but. . . ", "you're one of the coolest, smartest, best-looking, best-kissing, kindest, most-loving, (insert superlative of choice here), but. . ." Sigh. Then I want to restate what I said earlier: HE DIDN'T WANT ME SO CLEARLY ALL MY GOOD TRAITS WEREN'T ENOUGH FOR HIM SO WHAT MAKES HIM THINK THEY'LL BE ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY ELSE.

So maybe I'm melodramatic. I don't care. I'm entitled to be melodramatic for at least one day after not getting this job.

The Job Update

Well, things at the temp job are okay, but not as perfectly wonderful as they could be.

The good parts are as follows:
-money in my bank account
-99% of the people in the office are great and so easy to get along with

The not-so-good parts are as follows:
-the job is boring with a capital B
-the guy I'm working under is still interviewing people for the position, so I'm thinking he doesn't even want to hire me

So like I said, I might not even be offered the job. If that is the case, I am of the opinion that not getting this job isn't the end of the world. If I am offered the job, I am honestly not sure I will take it. I might. I might not. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

In the meantime I am keeping my eyes open for other employment opportunities.

Friday Night

. . . and no where to go and no one to go out with.

This whole being in a new town and knowing only two people is not really all that fun for me sometimes. Don't get me wrong, this move was a good thing but it is quite an adjustment.

I'm home alone on a Friday night. So here is the plan. My own private wine and cheese party, but not just any wine and cheese party, this is a wine and cheese and 80s movies party. Food Lion was selling VHS tapes for $1.99, so I got See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Midnight Madness.

By Popular Demand

Rubiks Cube Rodger

Suggestion Box Angela

Ellie as a dalmation

James as a hound dog

Halloween

Last night Rodger, Angela, and I went out to Chapel Hill's big Halloween event downtown. It was fun. There were about 70,000 people there and most of them were all decked out with their halloween spirit (there were a small percentage of creepy men who came out with the obvious purpose of gawking at all the scantily clad females, and make no mistake there were plenty to be gawked at). But there were lots of really fun, creative costumes. Rodger dressed up as a rubiks cube. Angela was a suggestion box. There was a group of girls who dressed up as manetic poetry. There was one couple who dressed as Thing 1 and Thing 2. My favorite costume choice was a group of about 6 college age guys who dressed up as tetris. They each picked a shape and it was awesome. I dressed up as Cindy Lauper, since I had no money to buy the makings of a new costume and I already had a great 80s outfit from my regular visits to the Soul Bar for their monthly 80s night. Not to mention, I have great 80s hair. It is one of my super powers.

Tooting My Own Horn

I jogged seven miles today. I am proud of myself. I can't deny it.
_______________________________________
I went to a dairy farm this afternoon. The farm has a little country store on it where they sell milk and ice cream. I had a yummy sugar cone with chocolate chip cookie dough and enjoyed it on a rocking chair on the store's porch. It was so peaceful and pleasant.

So Far, So Good

Thus far, the temp position is working out fine. The attorney I work under is an easy-going, easy to work for kind of guy. The gal I share an office space with is lovely. The only real down side to this job is the commute. It is about 40-45 minutes from Rodger and Angela's house. When I get my own place I could look for something sort of in between Chapel Hill and Pittsboro, but we'll see how it all works out. We'll see, if they hire me for real it would definitely be worth moving a bit closer.

Temp Job

I have a job starting Monday! It is through the temp agency, but it is a temp to hire position. From my understanding, I would be a temp for the remainder of this year and then (hopefully) be hired at the beginning of next year.

The temp job is $12.25/hr. So that is good and right in the range of pay I was hoping for ($10-$15/hr). I think it is full-time, but I don't really have all the details yet. I would be working as a legal secretary for the County Attorney for Chatham County. And if I were to be hired as a permanent employee I would be earning between $36,500 and $40,000/year!!!! That is like a real job. That is like a job I might actually want to stick around Chapel Hill for quite sometime for. That is like a maybe-I-could-buy-a-house-sometime-in-this-lifetime type of job. That is like a you-can-definitely-afford-to-buy-a-car-that-was-built-in-the-last-ten-years kind of job.

I am trying to not get too excited, as it might turn out that they don't hire me. But in the meantime, it's a job and it's money. Yay!

Our State Fair

Our state fair is a great state fair

Don't miss it, don't even be late

It's dollars to donuts that our state fair

Is the best state fair in our state!

Last night Rodger, Angela, Chris, Carolina, and I went to the NC State Fair in Raleigh. (Chris and Carolina are a college couple who are a part of our little church family.) The highlights of the evening were deep fried coke (proof that you really can deep fry anything), elephant ears (something like a funnel cake, but not quite as good), pig racing (as well as goats and geese!), Chris and Carolina doing the rock climbing wall, posing for pictures with a UFO, and watching a blacksmith do a demonstration. It was fun and it was definitely good to get out of the house and socialize a little.

______________________________________

Also, I am super proud of myself for jogging over 6 miles today! I was jogging a track and at one point I lost count of which lap I was on so I either did 6.2 miles or 6.6 miles. Either way, I was shooting for 6 and I definitely got there. Yay for me! Now if I just wasn't eating crap like deep fried coke and elephant ears, I might be losing some weight too.

Interview Update

I interviewed. It went fine. We'll see what happens. I should hear from them by Monday of next week.

Interview

I have an interview set up for Wednesday! yay! Pray that it goes well.

The First Week

I have officially been here in Chapel Hill for a week now. I have to say that it has not been easy for me. I also have to say that it could be much worse.

It has not been easy because (1) I still have no job, (2) I have very limited funds which prevents me from going out exploring because I will spend money, (3) I am homesick for friends and family, and (4) I am hug deprived.

It has not been that bad because (1) I am living with Rodger and Angela and they are wonderful, (2) I did have a call back on a job which gives me a little hope, (3) I found a coffee shop that I love, (4) I have taken up jogging as my new hobby, and (5) we had an unexpected visit last night from Andrew S. from our old church in Augusta.

Jogging has been fabulous. It helps me deal with stress, fight depression, and pass the time without spending money.

The coffee shop is The Open Eye Cafe. It is a happy reminder of two of my former favorite coffee shops. The ambiance and clientele remind me of the old Orwell's Cafe on Eighth Street. The coffee itself reminds me of Cafe Greko on Road Nine. I made this discovery last night and it really did somehow help the homesick feeling.

All Moved In

I arrived yesterday evening to my new home in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. It took suprisingly little time to unpack and get settled. So here I am. . . excited and, I must admit, a little scared.

The Unemployment Begins

Yesterday was my last day at work. It was sad. I will miss everybody there. I'll miss having the world's greatest boss.

This week has also been filled with good-byes to people from church. I have plans with a few more people between today and tomorrow, just so we can hang out one last time before I go. Then on Saturday it is down to my family and the hardest good-byes.

I know I will be seeing most, if not all of these people again. But its still sad that I won't be seeing my family day in and day out, and I won't be seeing alot of these people whom I love dearly every couple of days or weeks even. And, laugh if you will, but I seriously require A LOT of hugs in order to survive. I'm slightly concerned that I will be hug deprived.

But on the bright side, I think of all the new people I will meet and all the new friendships to be made. And I'm excited about living with Rodger and Angela for a little while!

Just When I Thought. . .

. . . I could relax a little about my employment/income situation (or lack there of), I take my car to have some maintenance work done. I knew I needed new tires. I knew my brakes needed work. So Phil from church graciously offered to have a look at my brakes (tomorrow) and see what he could do. I took my car to Tire Kingdom today to get three new tires. While they had my car, they called me up to let me know that my brakes were in bad shape and my CV axles were busted. It was already $250 for the tires and they wanted an additional $450 for the axles. YIKES! I opted for just the tires and called up another auto mechanic, who I knew to be fair and honest, about my CV axles. He quoted me $400 for the work. Still yikes, but every little bit helps.

Then I went to pick up my car from tire kingdom. Then the guy there asked me if I had the timing belt replaced recently, because if I had not had that done I shouldn't be spending all this money on axles and brakes and tires. So I called up the former owner and asked about the timing belt. Sure enough. . . it is time for that to be replaced too. So I called my mechanic back up and said forget the axles, let's do the timing belt. Still a $400 job.

So bye, bye to all the money I just received from my church family. But I sure am glad that they gave me the money so that I can have all this work done. It just means that I am back to my former state of freaking out about not having any income after tomorrow. Such is life. God will make a way.

The Inner Bean

I played at open mic night at the Inner Bean Cafe (Davis Road). The place is really nice. Cool people running it. Good coffee (the kind that kicks Starbucks' butt!). Nice atmosphere. Good art work. Comfy chairs. I'm not totally sure if they have free wi-fi or not, but I think they do. Go there. Keep locally owned coffee shops in business!

Also, New Moon cafe (downtown on Broad Street) is great not only for coffee, but lunch too. They have some of the best tomato soup I have ever tasted and good sandwiches.

Okay. I will get off my soap box now.

I Heart My Church

Tonight I got a gift from my church here in Augusta to help me when I join my church up in Chapel Hill shortly. It was a nice big check to help this soon-to-be bum make it until she gets another paycheck. Words cannot express how much this helps me right now. I heart my church.

Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining

So maybe I still have no job.

And maybe I am still headed towards broke.

But I got offered a trip to the Bahamas to go diving! And I am going!! It is already paid for, I just have to pay the guy back at some point (he knows I am about to be jobless and it may be some time before I can pay for it all).

So here is the story of my how this all came about:
Last Saturday I went out with Alice for her birthday. We did dinner at Teresa's and then to the Firehouse for drinks. While we were at the Firehouse, two guys come up and introduce themselves. One of the guys recognizes me because we went to freaking middle school together. He vaguely seemed familiar, but placing a grown man as a 12 year old boy can be quite difficult. So we talked for a while and, as it turns out, he was one of the wretched children who teased me mercilessly back in the day (this is a somewhat unrelated point, but I found it humorous). He even remembered my big, goofy, pink glasses and the fact that my real name was Dorothy. Crazy. So anyhow, he was wearing a cap that said something about diving on it. So I asked him about it and we discovered that we were both divers. This led to the fact that he had paid for him and a friend to go on this diving trip with Neptune Dive and Ski to the Bahamas, but unfotunately, the friend backed out. He offered the trip to me FOR FREE! I told him I needed to ponder on it for a day or two and get more info. I pondered. We talked over the phone about the trip some more today. I decided I really, really, really wanted to go. I also decided I should not accept a free trip from a guy I haven't seen in over ten years. However, I decided that I was ok with accepting a trip that I would pay back. So on October 18-22 I will be diving in the Bahamas! Life is beautiful. Even if I am about to be a jobless bum.

Freaking Out

Still no job. The chiropractors office is still interviewing other candidates. No other call backs on jobs.

My job here ends in a week and a half.

I bounced three checks last month.

My brakes need some work

I am freaking out.

I slept an average of three hours each night last week.

I have worked a bunch of extra hours for no apparent reason. (I get salary, not hourly. That means no extra pay.) I just need to keep my mind occupied with things that don't freak me out I guess.

So if you are hanging out with me and I randomly burst into tears, it is more than likely the stress and lack of sleep.

The Jobs

News on my current/soon-to-be-old job:

My sister Mary will be my successor! She starts tomorrow! I get to train her and work with her for the next two weeks! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!
_____________________________
News on my future job possibilities:

The interview went very well. I was in their office for nine stinkin' hours! It was basically an interview/training day. That is a good sign. They must be serious about me if the asked me to travel 10 hours, miss a day of work, and take the time to train me for a day. I am waiting on pins and needles to hear from them.

Also, I have gotten no call backs from other job prospects since last week.

!!!!!

I have an interview on Monday!!!!! It is for an admin position in a chiropractor's office. Wish me luck!

80s Night

Last night Sara and I dressed in our finest 80s attire and hit the Soul Bar with Mike, Dianna, Mike's sister, and her hubby. We danced till the place closed then went to IHOP. It had been far too long since I stayed out till 5:00 am with three of my favorite girls (by the end of the night it was Sara, Dianna, Mary, and me at IHOP). I love my life.
__________________________________
I have gotten calls on two different job possibilities this week! No interviews scheduled yet, but there is the possibility that I will have an interview on Monday or Tuesday of this coming week!

My New Vow

WARNING: The following is an over-reaction.

I was at the Metro last night having a drink and talking with my friend Jeremy (who is not married either). We had possibly the most depressing conversation ever about marriage. Following this conversation I have newly vowed that I will never get married. Why, you ask?

1. I will gradually turn into a miserable monster whose main goal is to ruin my husband's life. And I really don't want to be a monster of any sort.

2. We will eventually get to the place where we never have sex. Marriage without sex? What's the point?

I Think. . .

it is high time I got a tattoo. I want a jellyfish tattoo, but where should I get it? Any suggestions?

No News is Good News?

Or at least that's what they say.

But in my case, no news is not good news. No news means I still don't have job lined up in Chapel Hill.

I could write more about life in general at this point in the blog, but my brain is so consumed with Chapel Hill and moving and finding a job that I find it hard to write about anything else.

However, I will mention that Sara is coming to visit me this weekend! So that is sure to inspire some writing, even if nothing else seems inspirational in the meantime.

It's Official

I put my notice in at work today. There's no turning back now!!

Weekend Trip

Yay! I'm going to Chapel Hill tomorrow to visit Roger and Angela and the Greenleaf crew!

The One Where Dottie is Scared, But Ready to Go

Last week I was feeling a little discouraged about the whole job and moving situation. I had another call back about a job, but when I told them I was not in Chapel Hill already they told me to give them a call when I was there. So I was talking to God that night before I went to bed. I was telling Him I was discouraged and I really needed some encouragement and I asked Him to please speak to me in my dreams. I prayed this, not knowing whether He would or would not, but figuring that it couldn't hurt to ask, right? Well the dream I had that night went like this:

I am in my car, pulling out of a driveway onto a main road. So I reverse out of the driveway and onto the street, so far, so good. Then I put the car in drive to move foward. However the car just keeps going in reverse. I try to stop and the car just keeps going in reverse. I'm freaking out and cars are coming towards me and I can't stop and I can't go forward and then I wake up.

Someone who is better at communicating with God than I am, please tell Him, for future reference, that was the opposite of encouraging.
_____________________________________
But despite my decidedly opposite of encouraging dream, I am committed to Chapel Hill. I am ready to be there. I have been ready to be there for months now. I am to the point where I think I will be putting my notice in at work soon and just go, job or no job.
The hard part will be putting my official notice in at work. I love my job. I love the people I work with. I love the person I work for. It is going to be very hard to officially tell them I'm leaving.
_____________________________________
On a completely unrelated note, I loved those Jesus videos. Not that I like to make fun of Jesus. To me they are poking fun at stereotypes of Jesus and Christianity. So I hope everyone isn't out there seeing these on my blog and think that I am a complete blasphemer. But if that's what you think, oh well. I can't please everyone all the time I guess.

Vintage 21 Jesus Video #4

Jesus Video #3

Vintage 21 Jesus Video #2

Vintage 21 Jesus Video #1

Various And Sundry

My boss came into work today and said, "It smells like updog in here."

For any of you Office fans, you will know why that is hilarious and yet again proves that I have the coolest boss ever.
____________________________________________
My computer at work has suddenly come down with some sort of virus, I think. I will be on my computer working on a Word document, not even on the internet at all, and pop up windows keep popping up on my screen.
Apparently, while I was at lunch today a not nice pop up window appeared on my screen. And let me add that I do not have my own office, I do not have my own private corner, and my computer screen is not facing the wall. Everybody and their brother walks by my desk and would see this screen. So that's just great. I'll be getting a reputation as the office pervert.

A Break From Productivity

Well, I have been really productive tonight and I need a break. I consolidated my student loans, made payments on my student loans, renewed my car insurance, balanced my check book, tweaked my resume to apply for a position as a long-term substitute teacher, searched through classified ads, and I am about to write some cover letters and email my resume to a few more places tonight. But right now I need a break, so I'm thinking some Top 3 Lists are in order.

Top 3 Things That Happened This Year That Were Completely Unexpected
(In no particular order.)
1. LaGrange College sent me a letter stating that I had paid them too much money and they gave me a check for a little over two hundred dollars! Woo Hoo! I really never thought that would happen.
2. My boss has given me a total of about a week and a half of paid vacation and paid for my plane ticket to California and given me a $250 bonus! I mean that's just crazy nice.
3. I was employed as a lunch lady. That's an example of bad unexpected.

Top 3 Ways to Get Your Friends Who Never Return Your Calls/Emails to Return Your Calls/Emails
(In no particular order.)
1. Announce on facebook that you are in an "open relationship".
2. Send a text message instead of leaving a voicemail. I don't know why this works, but I have at least two friends who will almost never answer or return calls, but they always respond to texts. It's a mystery. (In defense of one of said friends, his phone sucks.) Then again, I have one friend that doesn't even respond to texts, and in that case. . .
3. Wait for them to have a birthday, wedding, or baby. They'll call you when they want presents or to be taken out for a free meal or a free drink. (This is sad, but true.)

Ok, enough tomfoolery. It's back to the grindstone for me. Have a good evening!

A Good Weekend After a Not So Good Week

I'm pretty sure that the job I thought was in the bag is a no go. I bummed pretty hard on Wednesday and Thursday. I know there are other jobs out there and better jobs and full-time jobs and something will happen sooner or later somehow. But after 70ish resumes out, this was my first call back, my first actual possibility. I got really excited. I began seriously looking at apartments online. I started planning it all out and, you know, it just became really real to me for a couple of days. And then it turns out that the lady didn't call a single one of my references and she didn't return my call on Thursday and for a moment or two I just felt like all my dreams and plans had just been taken away. It's silly, I know, but it that's just how it felt for a little while. But I'm bouncing back now.
Yesterday, I had dinner with some dear friends of mine Pete and Jen. We hadn't really connected for quite sometime and it was just so good to catch up. Then I went out with a fairly new friend of mine Jeremy. We went to the Fox's Lair to hear some music (which was so-so) and then we went to the Firehouse and just talked. One thing I just love about Jeremy is that he really enjoys talking and talking about real stuff too, not just small talk.
Today, I got a rental car and came to Atlanta to visit with my darling Sara. When I come to visit Sara, the first two hours are just spent venting frustrations, confessing sin, sharing worries and excitement, and just generally talking until we go hoarse (or at least I do). So now that we have gotten all the verbal diarrhea out of our systems, we are at a coffee shop. She is studying for her classes and I am playing on the internet. It's a good weekend and I needed that. So, yay.

A Whole New World (Don't You Dare Close Your Eyes)

I went to the eye doctor today. Best thing I did all week, at least. I haven't had my eyes checked in several years, so it was more than high time. Now the images around me literally seem to be jumping out at me. It is great and slightly scary. Truly it seems like a whole new world out there.

You know your eyes are bad when the blob who is supposedly your doctor comes in, thumbs through your chart, then exclaims, "Wow! You can't see anything!" Yes, Dr. Blob, you are correct. I cannot see a thing.
____________________________________
Still no news on the job. Argh!

Another Reason I Have the Best Boss Ever

Let me preface this by saying that before I was hired at this job, I told my boss that I had plans to move to North Carolina. . . I just didn't know when it was going to happen. After I was hired, he and I discussed it a few times and he gave me some contacts for possible jobs and such, but beyond that I haven't much seen the point of bringing it up since I still had no definite departure date. So he has either (a) forgotten or (b) thinks I decided not to go. So with that said here was our conversation at work today. . .

Boss: There is this guy that I really want you to meet, but I'm not sure if he's good enough for you.

Me: Why would you say that?

Boss: Because you're Dottie and you're like part of my family.

So leaving this job is really gonna suck. Not that I'm having second thoughts or anything, but it still suck-suck-sucks!
----------------------------------------------
Somewhat related to that, still no definite word on the job in NC. I am waiting with great anticipation for the final word.
----------------------------------------------
Somewhat unrelated, my best friend Sara is now in Atlanta getting ready to begin law school at GA State University. I'm going to visit her this weekend!

Job Nearly In the Bag!

Okay, so I almost have a job in Chapel Hill. I talked over the phone some with this lady and everything was very positive, but she said she was going to call some of my references tomorrow and get back to me. !!!!!!! (This basically means it's in the bag (I think)).

This job is not the ideal set up for me, but it's a start. It is a job as a receptionist at a doctor's office. I was referred to this office by a lady whose daughter worked there over the summer. She said it was a great work environment and everyone was really nice etc. The not-so-perfect part is that it is only part-time. But I decided to go for it anyhow and just get another part-time job once I get up there. I am just ready to GO, and if I wait for all the stars to align and a red carpet to be rolled out all the way to North Carolina then it is just never gonna happen. So anyway, if all goes as it is playing out in my head, I should be moving up there somewhere between two weeks and a month from now!!!!! FINA-FREAKIN-LLY!!!!!

Limited Internet Time

I took a last-minute house sitting job for an indefinite amount of time. I'm happy to do it and the house is actually much closer to my job than my parent's house, so it really isn't inconveniencing me at all except. . . NO INTERNET!!!!!! Yikes. So I came in early to work just so I could have some time to respond to emails, check blogs, etc. I am so addicted to the internet.

Anyhow, I had a job lead this week. I'm praying this is my ticket to Chapel Hill, but I'm trying to not get too excited about it.

And I had an epiphany about my life this week. I struggle alot with my emotions. Frequently I make mention of this in my blogs, but you're not even getting the half of it. Because truth be told, I'd rather not have all of you aware of just how nutty I can be. So anyhow, the epiphany is this. . . I don't have to beat my emotions and feelings. I don't have to conquer them or make them suddenly just not exist anymore. All I have to do is just not let them beat me. It's like land war in Asia (name that movie reference). The home army doesn't have to decimate the foriegners. All they have to do is hold their ground until the climate and time do all the dirty work for them. So that's me. I just have to hold out until time and circumstances take care of my emotions for me. So there it is. Wish me well in the whole "holding out" thing.

p.s. please don't think I am too crazy. I am convinced other people are alot like me, they're just not saying it out loud.

The Worship Conference

I'm back from my wonderful two and a half days at a worhip conference in Marietta. The conference was great. There were some really great workshops, excellent music and worship times, good speakers, good people and an all around fun time. I did learn some new things, but this conference also opened my eyes to alot of aspects about being a worship leader that I haven't even thought about. Honestly, it was pretty intimidating and I'm scared that I'm not going to be a good worship leader, but here I go anyhow. I guess I'll just try to give it my best and expect, that even with my best efforts, I will fall flat on my face on more than one occasion. I will also do my best to remember that God's grace is sufficient despite all my defficiencies.

Anyhow, any time you have a group of people together all day for three days straight you are bound to come back with some good quotable lines. Here are a few. . .
"I think God smells like bacon." -Jeremy Gimble
"Led Zepplin experimented with some really wacked out time signatures. That was probably because of their direct connections with satan." -Dave Milligan
"Notify your face." -Mike O'Brian
"When you smile, your whole face smiles." -Wilfred Cuthbert to Dave Milligan
. . . and basically anything Adam Heare said or any facial expression he made was guaranteed to make me laugh. I had forgotten how funny that guy is.

Harry Potter

I finished the book last Saturday night/Sunday morning at about 3:00am. It was goood. The king of good that requires three o's. And I must say that I shed more than a few tears, particularly on pages 475-481. But I don't want to ruin anything for the readers out there who have not yet gotten to read the book, so I'll stop with that.

All the Mixed Emotions

Today I am just a big emotional time bomb. Emotions, emotions, emotions. Does anybody rememer that song "I Enjoy Being a Girl" from that old musical Flower Drum Song? Well, it is high time somebody wrote about how they don't enjoy being a girl. Here are a few alternate titles:
1. I Loathe and Despise Being a Girl
2. I Enjoy Being a Girl Approximately One Weekend Per Month
3. I Enjoy Being an Emotionally Unstable, Semi-psychotic Nut Job aka Girl
4. I'd Enjoy Being a Girl Were It Not for the Whole Having to Live With Myself Thing
5. I'd Enjoy a Break From Being a Girl

Anyhow. . .

Rodger and Angela weren't at church today. They moved yesterday. I looked around our little church building and I saw many faces. Some of these were faces I hardly knew, some I had known for sometime, and some were faces of my own family members. But despite all the many connections I have with many of the wonderful people there, I knew that this was just not my church home anymore. It was a reassuring feeling and an uncomfortable feeling. Reassuring that in my heart of hearts I knew that the decision I made to go to Chapel Hill is one that I am at peace with and excited about. Uncomfortable because I still do not have a definite departure date or a job or living arrangements or so many other "details" worked out.

Today I also found out that there is a chance my brother and his family might be moving back to Augusta in the not-too-distant future. Break my heart why don't you. He comes just as I go. Why couldn't the timing be different? Why couldn't he have come back a year ago? I miss my brother sooooooo much.

What Happens at the Grandparents' House Stays at the Grandparents' House

But not really, because I am blogging it.

My parents babysat James last night.

This morning my mom, my dad, and I enjoyed a yummy omlette breakfast (prepared by yours truly). After breakfast we lazily drank our coffee and chatted about life in general. But when my parents' dog Abbi came into the livingroom, the conversation went something like this. . .

Mom: What's that pink stuff on Abbi's back?
Dad: James may have gotten into your Mary Kay stuff last night and put it on the dog.
Mom: Tom! Were you even watching James?!
Dad: (Quite indignant) Yes! I watched him do it.
Me: (laughed till I cried)

A Much Needed Dance Therapy Session

Who: Dottie Lee and Dianna Lindsey
What: Dancing the night away to 70s music (with a few throw ins from the 80s and 90s)
Where: The Soul Bar
When: Last night
Why: Dottie needed a break from her lame and boring life. Dianna needed a break from her stressful and chaotic life.
How: Mike watched the Lindsey kiddos and Soul Bar gave the ladies free cover.

And completely unrelated to that, I now have the latest Harry Potter in my possession and I'm going to finish it today.

Also unrelated to that, Rodger and Angela move to Chapel Hill today! Yay!

Finally, I am house sitting for a couple of days (starting tomorrow) and then going to the worship conference. So if you don't hear from me. . . that's what I'm doing.

The Trouble With Having No Life

These days when I get off of work, I run an errand or two and then come home. This is usually all done by 5:30 or 6:00. Some nights I spend about an hour job hunting. Other nights I don't do anything but anxiously wait for the clock to reach my bedtime. I am having a couple of problems with this.
Problem #1: I am getting depressed about how lame my life is.
Problem #2: I go to bed way too early and then wake up at 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning ready to start my day.

Eight Reasons to Celebrate

1. My niece Elianna was dedicated at church this morning. So was Rodger's nephew Jonah.

2. Julie's birthday is tomorrow! (She's turning thirty, and I'm next in line for it. Yikes!)

3. Rodger and Angela are moving to Chapel Hill this week! Hopefully I won't be far behind them.

4. My boss gave me two days off to go to a worship leader's training conference and Greenleaf Vineyard paid my registration fees and I got hooked up with free lodging and I am carpooling with a group from church, which means I won't have to take my car because no one in their right mind would pick my car as the most reliable transportation option. Yay! Can't wait to go!

5. Pat is going to let me borrow his copy of the latest Harry Potter book as soon as his roommate Sean is done reading it.

6. Today I finished my film with all my CA pics on it. I'll get them developed sometime this week.

7. I got to see my brother and his family today. I love them.

8. I had an awesome nap with my nephew today. It was fan-freakin-tastic.

Cute, Funny Kid Story

I don't have nearly so many of these nowadays, since I'm not teaching and hanging out with six year olds seven hours a day/five days a week. But today I get to share my co-worker's cute, funny kid story.

At work my co-worker, Carol, went to the restroom, as it must be done from time to time. She came out of the stall and a little girl is stood there clapping for her. The girl's grandmother was standing there also. Bewildered, Carol looked at the grandmother as the child kept applauding her. The grandmother informed Carol that the girl's mother always claps for her when she uses the potty. So now the little girl thinks that you are supposed to clap when someone/anyone uses the potty.

Way to go Carol!

My Newest Way to Kill Time

fanpop.com

Sara got my hooked. I've been watching hours of the Office for the last two days and now I'm on to Scrubs. Life is good.

Quote of the Day

"I used to think I was a good Christian, and then I got married. . ."
-my sister

Harry Potter

I went to Charleston with Alice and Bee Jay yesterday to catch Harry Potter on the 3-D Imax screen. I was disappointed. The movie was good, but not all I thought it should be. Out of the three of us, Bee Jay was the only one whose 3d glasses worked properly. I just saw a regular screen with one or two moments that maybe, kinda, sorta looked like they were in 3d. Poor Alice saw three of everything and could hardly tell what was going on.

Here are my words of wisdom regarding this movie. If you want to see this movie, but have not seen the previous HP movies or read the books, you must, must, must at the very least watch the previous movies before going to this one. This movie will not make sense to you at all otherwise. Reading the book before seeing the movie will help you get alot more of the movie. Movies always leave out stuff from the book. This move left out tons of stuff and made references to stuff that happened in the book, but didn't go into full explanation of that reference. So you get alot more if you have read the book(s).

Top 3 Reasons I Have Bragging Rights

Yesterday, was a day of accomplishment for me. . .

3. That overwhelming pile of work on my desk (built up to a monstrous level while I was away for a week) is finally back down to a very reasonable, doable size pile. Yay!

2. I finally got up the nerve to have a conversation that I knew I needed to have. You know the kind. The conversation that you are dreading, and 5 times a day you play out how it will go and what you will say. Well, I did it. It went reasonably well, as those types of conversations go. Double Yay!!

and now, the moment you've all been waiting for. . .
. . . the number 1 reason why I am so awesome. . .

Yesterday, I paid the FINAL payment on one of my student loans!!!!!! Quadruple YAY!!!!

The First Day Back

Technically I've been back for two days, but today was the first day back to work. Even when you have the world's greatest boss, the first day back to work after a week's vacation is never too much fun. A week's worth of work piled up on your desk just waiting for you to sort through and decide what is most urgent and what is not so urgent. Then try and tackle it all while current work steadily flows into your inbox. Plus you are jet lagged and you have no clue when you will see your next vacation day, so you don't feel like you have much to look forward to. Sure, it's not all as bad as it feels. I do have weekends and evenings always off, which is a step up from many of my former jobs. I am guaranteed to have off on major holidays. I have it pretty good really, but try telling me that on my first day back to work after a week in California with my best friend.
Luckily, Dianna called me and invited me to go swimming with her and her girls this evening after work. So that cheered me up considerably, and likewise did the phone message from Sara and getting to see my nephew and niece on my lunch break.

Leaving Your Best Friend Sucks

Today I leave my best friend, and I am bumming about that. But let's not dwell on unpleasantries for too long.

The rest of my stay here in the great state of California has been wonderful.

Wednesday was the fourth of July and I went with Sara and Rosemary to Monterey's festivities. This included alot of sun, alot of fried foods, alot of good music, alot of dancing, and alot of walking. Later that night Sara and I watched the fireworks on the beach. It was loverly.

Thursday we did Santa Cruz. Santa Cruz is kinda of like beach town meets college town. I liked it. I quite easily see myself living there. Anyhow, Sara and I walked the boardwalk and around town for several hours. We did a little shopping. Later that night we danced the night away to 80s music at the Blue Lagoon. Sara found a little Irish boyfriend at the bar and I found a homeless man at Taco Bell at 2 in the morning, proof that I have not lost my touch.

Friday was a good day too. We went to the aquarium. I decided that if I was ever homeless I would save up enough money to purchase a membership at the aquarium and spend all day, everyday there. I loved, loved, loved it. I also got a little of the history in Cannery Row. We had dinner at a yummy Indian restaurant. Friday night we went and saw a terrible band. It was scary, but I'm trying to block it from my mind so let's not talk about that anymore. After that we moved our little party to a British pub. We had a jolly good time. It reminded me of the days of the Silly Willy Girls Club, and I wished that Esther and Angella and Kim were there so we could have a little Silly Reunion.

So that brings us to today. My last day. Sigh. Well the plan is to go to Carmel this morning and then head to San Fransico. My flight goes out this evening. I get to Atlanta at 5 in the morning, which will not be fun. My lovely parents are picking me up and then it is back to Augusta. Sigh.

Top 10 List

Sara and I did some brainstorming the other night and came up with a scategories sheet full of terrible ways to propose to someone. In no particular order, here are a few for your enjoyment.

1. Begin the proposal with "My therapist says. . ."

2. Tell your parents that you are already engaged, then invite the uninformed guy over for lunch with you and your parents.

3. Stand up at church and announce that you are pregnant with ______'s baby (even though you aren't), but you want to make the situation right so you are asking him to marry you.

4. "All my life I've been abused by men. You are the first guy I feel safe around. Will you marry me?"

5. Inform the guy that you are actually an illegal alien and you are trying to get your green card. Go on to say that since you figured that no one else would ever want to marry him, he should be a good friend and marry you.

6. Tell the guy that you were torn between him and another guy. The other guy was superior to him in almost every way. But since he has a higher earning potential than the other guy, you want to marry him.

7. Tell him that his freinds begged you to propose to him.

8. Begin proposal with "This is probably the drugs talking, but. . . "

9. Tell him you were very conflicted about getting married to him. But then you said to yourself "why not? There's always divorce."

10. Tell him it was a word from God.

Napa Valley

I think California might be the promised land. It is stunningly beautiful.

I went to Napa Valley yesterday with Sara. We did a tour of a winery, which ended in tasting four different delicious wines. I ended up buying two and a half bottles of rather expensive wine (Sara and I split the cost for one). When buying wine my price range is normally in the under $10 category, but I figure it isn't everyday this Georgia girl is in wine country so I splurged a little.

On Sunday, we did church and a little hike and a movie. We went to see this movie called Once. I loved it. It is not really a super climactic movie with tons of highs and lows. It is more like Breakfast at Tiffanys. It is more of just a glimpse into someone else's life. If you are a music person, this is a must see. If you are an independent film person, this is a must see. I came back from the movie thinking about all the things that I just don't say to people and all the things I let slip by, and on having the wisdom to know when it really is best to let things go unsaid or undone and when it is best to speak up or stand up and at least try to make things happen.

Anyhow, today we are supposed to do another hike and some kayaking. Then tonight we are going to see The Princess Bride at a drive-in movie!

I'm Here!

So I'm here in Monterey, and I am happy. I'm happy to be in this beautiful city. I am happy to be with my best friend. I am happy about having paid vacation. I am happy to not be on a plane or in a car anymore.

I had a sixteen hour trip yesterday. All my flights went smoothly. All my luggage arrived with me. So really, what more could you ask for. I flew with midwest airlines and they offer freshly baked chocolate chip cookies on all their flights (yummy!). I had three flights, which meant my dietary intake for the day was six cookies, three coffees, and one diet pepsi. You might think that isn't enough, but when all you do is sit on a plane or in a car all day long you don't really feel like eating. Anyhow, Sara picked me up in San Fransisco and we headed for Monterey. The drive was beautiful, but I was motion sick. So every fifteen minutes we had to pull off to the side of the road so I could, quite literally, toss my cookies. By the time we got there I wanted to kiss the ground.

So here I am, not sick anymore, and enjoying the view from the Kauffman's apartment. I love being with the Kauffman's. Whenever I am with them, no matter where we are at, I always feel like I am at home.